The Perfect Gift

June 28, 2014.
My friend Patrick picks me up downtown, and takes me to Mass at a small, basically all-black parish.
Walking in, we stick out like two sore, white thumbs. I need to use the restroom, so I head towards the back, and am cut off by Mrs. Jones, a very kind and outgoing woman, with very long nails, who immediately asks, "Would you like to bring up the gifts today?" Though feeling strange, I appreciate her hospitality (as clearly, we were visitors), so I agree to her request.
Then, she asks, "Is that your husband?" No, just a friend. "Oh, would he like to carry up the gifts?" Probably. You could ask him. At that, she directs me to the bathroom, then proceeds to ask Patrick, who replies, "Why the h*** not?" (He is still practicing his Mass etiquette :) ).
The best part is, Patrick had just had a conversation with the pastor of this parish the day before about discerning a call to the priesthood. So, here he is, with some random girl, and here we are, two of only three white people in the whole church, walking up to the altar in front of the priest and everyone.
Awkward!

Fast forward to today, the Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
It is 8:30AM Mass at my parish, and I am looking for a place to sit. Seeing my four neighbor children (ages 5-12), I sit with them. Apparently, their mom has gone to Mass the day before, so they have come alone.
After I say a prayer, an usher comes up behind me and asks me if I'd like to carry the gifts up. Scanning my clothes (a t-shirt and capris), I first ask if I am dressed for the task. She assures me that it is fine. Then she says, "Just come over with the kids after the Creed." With the kids? Wait, what?! (These kids are not mine, you know....) Okay, kids, here goes nothin'....
We walk to the back of the church, as instructed, and three of the kids are given the bread, the wine, and the basket with the tithe. That leaves me and the youngest boy, who folds his hands piously and walks beside me. All the while, I am thinking, should I hold his hand? Does he want to hold my hand? Forget about what he wants, I want to hold his hand! At least then I would feel like a part of this family! The kids are dressed very nicely, which makes me feel embarrassed. And we are all uncoordinated, because there is no Mrs. Jones telling us what to do and when. What must the pastor be thinking about this?
As we sit, relieved, back in our pew, the youngest leans over to his sister and says, "That was embarrassing." Poor little guy.

Can we please break for a totally relevant musical interlude? This is the soundtrack of my experience:

God has an incredible sense of humor. I just love it.
They don't offer classes on bringing up the gifts at Mass. I think it's something you have to learn by humiliation. Or maybe it just happens that whenever I am involved in the process, things are a little strange. It could be because I am a little strange. (Yeah, I think it's me...)

But it is a nice reminder that when I bring my gifts to the Lord - whatever they may be (joys, sorrows, desires, intentions, talents, sins, etc.) - they are never going to be perfect. There is going to some measure of self or self-love, a poverty due to my humanity, or a pride or sin or lack. If I try to be the best shiny silver hat I can be, sometimes that very act is what makes things not quite right. So there is no sense deluding myself and trying to act as if I have it all together.  Instead, may the Lord continue to remind me that when I come before him with my gifts, they should be cloaked in humility.

As awkward and embarrassing as I sometimes am, and as out-of-place as I sometimes feel, it is truly a marvel that the Lord still chooses me, receives the broken offering I bring and gives me back a thousandfold.

The best gift I can offer is an honest one. God knows that what I bring can never be perfect; He alone can make it so. And He reminds me that He, Himself, is the Perfect Gift, offered on the Cross and on the altar.

 

"Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."

Question: Where Are You Going?

Answer:

 

Huzzah! I have successfully linked up these two blogs.
We're movin' the party over to this blog, but you can find the link on this page as well:
http://goyouaresent.blogspot.com/

Follow it!
Thanks,
See you there!!!

 

15. You are Sent

Okay…. imagine a tiny little baby inside its mother’s womb. For nine months, it grows silently and all that it needs is given to it through its mother. When mom eats, baby eats. Perhaps mom reads to it, or sings to it or tells it of her hopes and dreams. Then there comes a day when there is no longer enough womb for baby to fit in. And so with one robust huff and puff, mom propels the baby out into the world to go and go and do something with its life.

(Okay, maybe it's not quite like that...)

 

How about this? Every year, high school and college graduates get together in their respective stadiums and collect their diplomas. And even though the students appropriately call this graduation, the schools call it “commencement.” The idea is, of course, that this isn’t so much the end of something as it is the beginning of something greater, the catapulting of hundreds or thousands of young people into the “real world” to go put into practice all they have learned and studied.

 

We have all experienced this “sending forth.” As kids, we were told the rules, and then turned loose to go play. We were given directions, and then told to go do our work. Often, our parents saw us off at the bus stop or at our classroom on the first day of school. Perhaps they helped us pack our bags and encouraged us as we prepared to go away to college. At work, we were most likely trained by a person or group, and then experienced the stepping forward into our own role, when they were no longer there for constant support.

Some people would call this “growing up.”

Whatever you call it, this growth in our personal autonomy is important to our growth in maturity as persons. We learn to take ownership of the skills and knowledge we have acquired. We put into practice what we’ve learned; we give what we’ve received. Our formation/education/training is incomplete if we don’t “go forth” with what we have learned. We will forget it; it will erode or die.

Christians are (or should be!) quite familiar with this “sending forth” as well. After all, Jesus said to His disciples, “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” (Mt. 28:19). This is the GREAT Commission, the call of every Christian to take part in the Church's universal mission to evangelize. Catholics should be even more familiar with this idea, since they hear some sort of commissioning or “sending forth” at the end of every Mass (which incidentally, comes from the Latin word Missa, which means to send):
Go in peace.
Go and announce the Gospel of the Lord.
Go in peace, glorifying the Lord by your life.

What you have just received, go and give witness to! Go and live the mystery you have celebrated! Go and become the words you have heard!

Ultimately, this is the challenge. The world tells us not to rock the boat, not to offend or be politically incorrect. All the while, they advance their agendas and proclaim their dogmas which offend the very nature of humanity. And because it is easier and less overwhelming to do nothing, that is often what we do.

Consider this your “sending forth.” I have spent this year blogging on the nature and meaning of humanity. Whether you have read just one or you have read all of the blog posts, I urge you to continue to explore these topics more deeply, always searching sincerely for the Truth. Share what you learn with others. Do your part to become what you were created to be. Clearly, what is written here is not all there is to say about humanity. And clearly, the crisis of humanity which first inspired this blog is not yet resolved. What is needed is a generation willing to pursue Truth at all costs – Truth that cannot be found in its fullness apart from Jesus Christ – and to bear witness by their words and lives to what it means to be truly human.

Go, you are sent.

The Beginning of Something New

 
Well, ladies and gentleman, brothers and sisters.....the Liturgical year has ended.

(For anyone scratching their heads right now, I am referring to the cycle of the seasons and official yearly celebrations in the Catholic/Christian church). 
So... Happy Advent! Welcome to the beginning of something new!

Not just new sales and new gadgets and new wrapping paper to put on new gifts. No. We are called to become something new through our participation in the life of Christ. That beautiful moment that we remember, when our Lord Jesus Christ took on our human flesh, is made present to us. We can give it a fleeting thought as we hurry past a manger scene in a crowded shopping mall, or we can choose to enter the mystery, to rediscover the origin, the heart of Christmas....and be changed, and become something new.

It's great that God timed this all so perfectly (okay, maybe it was the other way around), because this series of blog posts has been all about rediscovery.... and this blog, like the Liturgical year, is coming to its end. (I will allow for a brief moment of silence so you can mourn.)

 

This past year, we have explored together the origins and heart of our humanity, a little bit of what it means to be truly human in this confused and sometimes callous world.

At the start, I said that one of the main reasons I was writing these blogs is because without a proper understanding of our identity, we lack a sense of mission, of purpose. In other words, when we do not know who we are, we do not know where to go. Instead, we run in circles chasing things that leave us unfulfilled, or run in circles when we need not run at all.....

 

But once we know who we are, what is left for us is to be and to become. At the end of my life, I should have become more myself. My mission in life should spring from, be intertwined with, and confirm my identity. And if there are serious conflicts, I should raise my eyebrows.

 

 
 
Before I say anything more about mission, here is a little "year in review", especially for those who may just be joining the fun now! This is a recap of some of the basic commonalities we all share as members of the human family.....

We were all created by God, made in His image and likeness with an indelible dignity. Your true identity comes from Him, and you are unique in all of creation. You were made as a man or a woman, with great intention and with a beautiful heart, to express God's love as you express yourself through your body and your human sexuality. God loves you unconditionally, even in your imperfection and He calls you to communion with others, to experience that love and to be a gift to others as you grow together in union with Him. You are meant to live out that communion in a unique way through a particular vocation: marriage or celibate life. You are a beggar before God; that is, everything you have is a gift from him. But so as not to become attached to temporal things, you must live with your final end in mind, because you will not live forever. Your life is not meant to be lived for you alone, but for God and others, because you are not your own.

There you have it: The essence of humanity in eight sentences. :)
 
In the process, we also discussed a plethora of exciting and relevant social topics!
Evolution, Freedom, Same-sex unions, Loving yourself, Sin, Marriage, Patience in waiting, Knowing your gifts, Salvation, Suffering, Christian witness, True Love, Voluntary poverty, and Abortion.   
 
As you can clearly see, it was an eventful year! 

Read up. You have all of Advent. Then you'll have plenty to discuss with your estranged relatives when they show up on your doorstep this Christmas inquiring about the meaning of this thing we call life. (Estranged relatives tend to do that.) So don't change the subject or start up an argument. Offer them something new this year: Return to where it all began.

Question: What is the "PRO" choice?

Not too long ago, I went to a Planned Parenthood with a large group from my church, to pray for an end to abortion. As we walked back and forth along the sidewalk praying a rosary, I listened to some street preachers that were also there. They were speaking over a microphone, in the general direction of the Planned Parenthood but obviously at anyone planning to enter, reading passages from Scripture and talking about the dreadful judgment of God that would come upon these women for the terrible sin of abortion. I could no longer pray; I was too distracted. Frustrated, really. I couldn’t help but think that we were working against each other, one group quietly demonstrating peaceful protest and loving intercession, and the other preaching hellfire and brimstone.

I do recognize that there are some who would be, and are, profoundly impacted and converted by strong and alarming messages like the ones that were preached. But I also know that when people in my life have used forceful means to try to convince me to pursue a particular course of action, even when it is a good course of action, I tend not to be moved. When they love me and I am confident that I am safe and respected by them, then strong words are not even necessary, because I trust in their goodness.

Most women who come seeking an abortion do not need shock therapy. Most of them just need to be loved.

Sometimes, the woman has become pregnant after contraceptives failed. Or perhaps there are difficulties in the relationship with the man who got her pregnant: he has left her, she wants nothing to do with him, he has pressured her to get an abortion, etc. Perhaps the child was conceived in rape or incest. In all of these cases, the woman has already suffered from a tremendous lack of authentic love from someone who should have loved her most intimately. She may feel a sense of guilt, shame, self-hatred, even anger. The last thing she needs is to feel that God or others are condemning her.

Sometimes, she is considering abortion because she doesn’t think it is the right time to have a child. She may feel she is unable to support the child financially or provide a good life for it, because she is too young or unemployed or still in school or unmarried, etc. Maybe she has been told there are problems with the child’s health, or delivering the child could put her health at risk. She has enough fear already. She does not need her fears intensified. Perfect love casts out fear.

Don’t get me wrong: It is important to tell the truth, because love and truth cannot be divorced from one another. But what is the fundamental truth?

To the woman considering abortion:

God loves you, and nothing you have done or could do can change the fact that God is madly in love with you. In His love, Jesus Christ died for you, and has already paid the price for all of your sins – yes, even the abortion that you are considering. That doesn’t mean it is okay, just because it is already paid for. His gift of love and mercy are always there for the asking - He is waiting for you with open arms - but you have to accept His gift; You have to accept His love. Abortion offends His love very much, because life itself is a gift He gives in love, and He doesn’t make mistakes. He is God. Even if you have made mistakes or someone else has acted wrongly against you – even if your baby was unplanned or has health problems– God  knows what He is doing, and God knows how to bring good out of this, because He loves you and that’s what love does. If it’s not a mistake, there’s no need to “correct” it. Are you truly unable to care for the child, to provide a good life? Then give the child to me. Or place it up for adoption. Then your child will be provided for, and you will be doing the most courageous and loving thing that you can do.

To the street preachers and sidewalk counselors:
There are a number of physical and psychological side effects that women commonly experience after having an abortion. After reading these, I am even more convinced that abortion is not a "PRO" choice. Street preachers, if you want to share horror stories, true stories of such side effects is a legitimate place to start. But for the love of God, don’t do it just to invoke fear. Look at the woman, hear her, love her, and then share what she needs individually to save her from having to go through the same hell.

Some have accused pro-lifers of focusing too much on the baby and not caring enough about the mother. Sometimes I have been guilty of this myself. Let’s not be like Planned Parenthood in this regard. We are not a business, and the goal should not be to merely add one more baby to the count. The mother is equally as important. As my friend, Luz, says:

“Touch the mother’s soul, and you will save the baby’s life.”

Let us make it clear that we care about these women, and so does the God we profess. When they know they are truly loved, they will be able to truly love in return. And the choice to love authentically is the "PRO" choice.

       ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To any woman who has had an abortion: 

I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion. The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To the same Father and his mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child. With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life. Through your commitment to life, whether by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring for those most in need of someone to be close to them, you will become promoters of a new way of looking at human life.

-Pope John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae, #99-

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Resources:

If you are pregnant and need help, or if you are suffering from the pain of abortion (mothers and fathers), there is support for you in this difficult and painful time:

Aid To Women Center:http://aidtowomencenter.org/

Silent No More Awareness Campaign: http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/

Rachel's Vineyard Abortion Healing Retreats: http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/index.htm

Life Choices: http://www.lcwcaz.org/

1st Way Pregnany Center: http://www.1stway.net/

 

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14. You are Not Your Own

Recently, I have been reading a great book on AIDS. (Because that is what I do in my free time). The author discusses the downfalls of the prevailing approach to AIDS prevention – which is mostly the promotion of condoms, voluntary counseling and testing for other STDs – and then proceeds to show why sexual abstinence and fidelity to one’s partner are still, holistically, the best options for preventing the spread of AIDS. Why? Because they show highest regard for the dignity of man – the inherent beauty of the marital act and the marriage vows, honor for "the other", man’s ability to change behavior, and his or her real capacity to live a life of virtue.

The world would like us to believe that man isn’t much more than an animal, and all that separates us from our four-legged friends is that we invent technology which allows us to do the same things in a way that is “better” or “safer.”

For an illustration of this point, you can read this blog by Matt Walsh. In it, he responds to a letter from a concerned high school student describing a “health teacher” who labels abstinence as outdated and unrealistic. She says that since sex is often commonplace in relationships and not viewed as a serious thing – since everyone is doing it and that’s totally fine – we should at least make sure we have “safe sex.”

(Speeding on the freeway is commonplace too. But that’s fine, right? As long as everyone is wearing a seatbelt?)

“So-called ‘safe sex’, which is touted by the ‘civilization of technology’, is actually, in the view of the overall requirements of the person, radically not safe, indeed it is extremely dangerous. It endangers both the person and the family. And what is this danger? It is the loss of the truth about one’s own self and about the family, together with the risk of a loss of freedom  and consequently a loss of love itself.”
- Pope John Paul II, Letter to Families, n. 13

A loss of love itself….

Maybe, ye "teachers" and "health care" providers, the answer to our problems (not just sexual) does not involve technological band-aids for our human crises. Maybe what we need is humanity.

Our technological advances do not make us more human. The mere pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain and unwanted consequences  do not make us more human. Utilitarianism, especially when it is endorsed as an expression of enlightenment, superiority, or liberation, does not make us more human.

“Man finds himself only in the sincere gift of himself.”
 - John Paul II -

In 1963, Archbishop Fulton published a book entitled “The Priest is Not His Own.” In it, he describes the vocation of a diocesan priest and what he views as the priest’s primary call, which is to be, like Christ, a victim, willingly offering oneself for and on behalf of those he serves. A life lived for others.

In 1979, Mother Teresa, a little nun from Macedonia, won the Nobel Peace Prize for the 31 years (eventually, 49, by the time she died) she spent voluntarily living among “the poorest of the poor”, walking the streets, lifting men out of gutters, personally caring for the sick, diseased, orphaned, and abandoned. A life lived for others.

Most recently, Seth Adam Smith caused quite a stir in the blogging world for his assertion, as a married man, that “Marriage is for Not for Me.” He goes on to say that a true marriage is not about you, but about your spouse – “their wants, their needs, their hopes and their dreams.” Their soul. A life lived for another. (Needless to say, he was criticized by some readers for not caring enough about himself.)

 

"The glory of God is man fully alive."
- St. Irenaeus -

To be fully human is to be alive in authentic love, and authentic love always requires self-sacrifice and generosity.  It requires, as Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI says, to desire another’s good and to “take effective steps to secure it.” It is not words alone, but action. It does not say “What’s the least I can do?” but “What’s the best I can do?” It is not concerned with relational shortcuts and compromises and what is easiest and most comfortable for the lover, but it is willing to place one’s own desires second to the desires and/or needs of the beloved, for their good. It recognizes the dignity and worth of the other and seeks always to uphold, protect, and honor it, in thought, word, and action. In many ways, authentic love seeks to consider the other as more important than oneself. To be alive in this love is truly to be alive in God, in Christ, because truly, Jesus Christ gave us the highest example of generous and self-sacrificial love on the Cross.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit....and that you are not your own?" - 1 Cor. 6:19 -

It is difficult to truly love others if we do not have a proper love and respect for ourselves, as men and women tenderly fashioned by the hand of God. We belong to him, as a creation belongs to its creator, but also as a child belongs to its parent. We are not our own. And here's the mind-blowing part!!! God entrusts Himself to us (in the person of Christ as well as in the Holy Spirit), and gives us the responsibility to care for Him and to take the steps to keep Him alive in us and help Him grow. More often than not, God chooses to come into the world through man, especially through men and women who choose to place this Divine life within them above their own.

To love authentically is not just the call of the priest and the nun. It is for the married man. It is for the single woman. It is for any who call themselves human. Regardless of your occupation, your vocation, or your state in life, you are not your own. Your life is not meant to be lived for you alone, for maximization of personal pleasure and gain. Your human longing to love – etched on every heart – is intended to be lived out in service to God and others, in authentic, sacrificial love.  

 

I will end with this quotable quote:

“It is Jesus in fact that you seek when you dream of happiness, he is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; he is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is he who provokes you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is he who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is he who reads in your hearts your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be grounded down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal.”
(Blessed John Paul II; World Youth Day Vigil, 2000)

 

Question: Can the Poor Really be Happy?

Recently, I read a very good book.

 

Get it, read it, ponder it.

The book was about living evangelical poverty, regardless of your state in life. By evangelical poverty, we mean the virtue of poverty, as spoken of by our Lord in the Gospels - NOT destitution, NOT squalor, NOT lack of being able to provide for one’s basic human needs. This type of material poverty is an offense against human dignity, and we should work to eliminate it. In fact, this is actually part of the reason why, all throughout the Gospels, Jesus promotes a lifestyle of voluntary poverty as an ideal way of living.

“He instructed them to take nothing for the journey but a walking stick – no food, no sack, no money in their belts. They were, however, to wear sandals, but not a second tunic.”
– Mk. 6: 8-9 -

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven….”
– Mt. 6:19 -

Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me.” When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions. Then Jesus said to His disciples, “Amen, I say to you, it will be hard for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again, I say to you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of God.”
–Mt. 19: 21-24 -

That’s pretty radical.

Fr. Dubay points out that many of us read these and other words of Jesus and tend to believe that such radicality is reserved only for priests and nuns or foreign missionaries or this saint or that…..but not me. Or we content ourselves with a “poverty of spirit”, believing that it is enough to pursue detachment from our possessions without having to change our comfortable lives. Don’t get me wrong, spiritual poverty is desirable, necessary, but I believe evangelical poverty is more than this.

Jesus, Himself, though He was God, chose to live as a poor man, beginning His life in a cold and dirty stable...

 

 

 

 

 

 

spending the majority of it doing the simple work of a carpenter....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and ending it stripped naked on a Cross. If His words are not enough, the witness of His life shows His regard for a poverty that is not merely spiritual but actual.

Indeed, evangelical poverty may look different for a priest or a nun, or even for two different lay people, but the point Fr. Dubay wishes to make is that we are called to practice it. The Gospel is for everyone! In our lives, the practice of this actual poverty takes the form of an authentic frugality, a willingness to give all of the gifts of oneself (time, talent, treasure) without “counting the cost”, even at times giving from our substance and not merely from our abundance (Mk. 12: 41-44). It is, as Father calls it, a “sparing-sharing” lifestyle, choosing ourselves to “have-not” so that others may “have.” We need the help of God to do this, because it is not easy. But it just might be easier than getting a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.

The most important thing I took away from this book is the SO THAT. I realized that I viewed poverty itself as the end to be achieved, the ideal to be lived. But this is not the case. Evangelical poverty is only a means to the same joint ends I mentioned in last week’s blog: love of God and love of others. Living a life of poverty is meant to free us from the love of money and material possessions and, therefore, free us to be more attentive and responsive to God’s Will and to others’ needs. And believe it or not, it frees us to be more generous in our giving, because it requires and engenders trust that God is going to provide what we need when we need it. I know people who practice such poverty and generosity and it is not uncommon for them to witness "miraculous" events and obvious answers to prayer in their life, because 1) they expect them and 2) they are dependent on God and not on their own resources. And the witness of these people makes others realize that the “Word of God is living and effective” (Heb. 4:12), even attractive. True Gospel poverty, because it leads to an authentic freedom, generates JOY!

 

Here is a snippet of the examination Fr. Dubay includes, to help you prayerfully reflect on how God may be calling you to greater evangelical poverty in your own life:

1)      Am I willing to embrace the self-denial and suffering Gospel poverty entails?

2)      What stands in the way of my giving myself more completely to God? Of my abandoning myself to Him with a radical faith? Of my trusting Him completely?

3)      Where am I too comfortable in the world?

4)      Could I explain what Gospel poverty is and isn’t? Why it is beautiful and good?

5)      Do I rationalize my lack of factual frugality on the basis that I am detached from what I have? What proof do I have of my detachment?

6)      Have I turned poverty into an end rather than a means to be sought for what it makes possible?

7)      Do I live in such a way as to have something to share with the poor?

8)      Does my witness of poverty give credibility to the Gospel?

9)      Does the thought of heaven influence my daily decisions? Does my use of creation speak God to others? (How do I use or abuse creation?)

10)   Does my pilgrim status prompt me to want only necessities or do I hoard superfluous things? (How might my consumer decisions affect others, now and in future generations?)

 

Happy are you, poor! ;)