Not too long ago, I went to a Planned Parenthood with a large group from my church, to pray for an end to abortion. As we walked back and forth along the sidewalk praying a rosary, I listened to some street preachers that were also there. They were speaking over a microphone, in the general direction of the Planned Parenthood but obviously at anyone planning to enter, reading passages from Scripture and talking about the dreadful judgment of God that would come upon these women for the terrible sin of abortion. I could no longer pray; I was too distracted. Frustrated, really. I couldn’t help but think that we were working against each other, one group quietly demonstrating peaceful protest and loving intercession, and the other preaching hellfire and brimstone.
I do recognize that there are some who would be, and are,
profoundly impacted and converted by strong and alarming messages like the ones
that were preached. But I also know that when people in my life have used
forceful means to try to convince me to pursue a particular course of action, even
when it is a good course of action, I tend not to be moved. When they love me and I am confident that I am safe and respected by them, then strong words are not even necessary,
because I trust in their goodness.
Most women who come seeking an abortion do not need shock
therapy. Most of them just need to be loved.
Sometimes, the woman has become pregnant after
contraceptives failed. Or perhaps there are difficulties in the relationship
with the man who got her pregnant: he has left her, she wants nothing to do
with him, he has pressured her to get an abortion, etc. Perhaps the child was
conceived in rape or incest. In all of these cases, the woman has already
suffered from a tremendous lack of authentic love from someone who should have
loved her most intimately. She may feel a sense of guilt, shame, self-hatred,
even anger. The last thing she needs is to feel that God or others are
condemning her.
Sometimes, she is considering abortion because she doesn’t
think it is the right time to have a child. She may feel she is unable to
support the child financially or provide a good life for it, because she is too
young or unemployed or still in school or unmarried, etc. Maybe she has been told there are
problems with the child’s health, or delivering the child could put her health
at risk. She has enough fear already. She does not need her fears intensified. Perfect love casts out fear.
Don’t get me wrong: It is important to tell the truth,
because love and truth cannot be divorced from one another. But what is the fundamental
truth?
To the woman considering abortion:
God loves you, and
nothing you have done or could do can change the fact that God is madly in love
with you. In His love, Jesus Christ died for you, and has already paid the
price for all of your sins – yes, even the abortion that you are considering. That doesn’t
mean it is okay, just because it is already paid for. His gift of love and mercy are always there for the asking - He is waiting for you with open arms - but you have to accept
His gift; You have to accept His love. Abortion offends His love
very much, because life itself is a gift He gives in love, and He doesn’t make
mistakes. He is God. Even if you have made mistakes or someone else has acted
wrongly against you – even if your baby was unplanned or has health problems– God
knows what He is doing, and God knows how to bring
good out of this, because He loves you and that’s what love does. If it’s not a
mistake, there’s no need to “correct” it. Are you truly unable to
care for the child, to provide a good life? Then give the child to me. Or place it
up for adoption. Then your child will be provided for, and you will be doing the most courageous and loving thing that you can do.
To the street preachers and sidewalk counselors:
There are a number of physical and psychological side effects that women commonly experience after having an abortion. After reading these, I am even more convinced that abortion is not a "PRO" choice. Street preachers, if you want to share horror stories, true stories of such side effects is a legitimate place to start. But for the love of God, don’t do it just to invoke fear. Look at the woman, hear her, love her, and then share what she needs individually to save her from having to go through the same hell.
To the street preachers and sidewalk counselors:
There are a number of physical and psychological side effects that women commonly experience after having an abortion. After reading these, I am even more convinced that abortion is not a "PRO" choice. Street preachers, if you want to share horror stories, true stories of such side effects is a legitimate place to start. But for the love of God, don’t do it just to invoke fear. Look at the woman, hear her, love her, and then share what she needs individually to save her from having to go through the same hell.
Some have accused pro-lifers of focusing too much on the
baby and not caring enough about the mother. Sometimes I have been guilty of
this myself. Let’s not be like Planned Parenthood in this regard. We are not a
business, and the goal should not be to merely
add one more baby to the count. The mother is equally as important. As my
friend, Luz, says:
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To any woman who has had an abortion:
Let us make it clear that we care about these women, and so does the God we profess. When they know they are truly loved, they will be able to truly love in return. And the choice to love authentically is the "PRO" choice.
“Touch the mother’s soul, and you will save the baby’s life.”
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To any woman who has had an abortion:
I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion. The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To the same Father and his mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child. With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life. Through your commitment to life, whether by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring for those most in need of someone to be close to them, you will become promoters of a new way of looking at human life.
-Pope John Paul II,
Evangelium Vitae, #99-
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Resources:
If you are pregnant and need help, or if you are suffering from the pain of abortion (mothers and fathers), there is support for you in this difficult and painful time:
Aid To Women Center:http://aidtowomencenter.org/
Silent No More Awareness Campaign: http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/
Rachel's Vineyard Abortion Healing Retreats: http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/index.htm
Life Choices: http://www.lcwcaz.org/
1st Way Pregnany Center: http://www.1stway.net/
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