The Beginning of Something New

 
Well, ladies and gentleman, brothers and sisters.....the Liturgical year has ended.

(For anyone scratching their heads right now, I am referring to the cycle of the seasons and official yearly celebrations in the Catholic/Christian church). 
So... Happy Advent! Welcome to the beginning of something new!

Not just new sales and new gadgets and new wrapping paper to put on new gifts. No. We are called to become something new through our participation in the life of Christ. That beautiful moment that we remember, when our Lord Jesus Christ took on our human flesh, is made present to us. We can give it a fleeting thought as we hurry past a manger scene in a crowded shopping mall, or we can choose to enter the mystery, to rediscover the origin, the heart of Christmas....and be changed, and become something new.

It's great that God timed this all so perfectly (okay, maybe it was the other way around), because this series of blog posts has been all about rediscovery.... and this blog, like the Liturgical year, is coming to its end. (I will allow for a brief moment of silence so you can mourn.)

 

This past year, we have explored together the origins and heart of our humanity, a little bit of what it means to be truly human in this confused and sometimes callous world.

At the start, I said that one of the main reasons I was writing these blogs is because without a proper understanding of our identity, we lack a sense of mission, of purpose. In other words, when we do not know who we are, we do not know where to go. Instead, we run in circles chasing things that leave us unfulfilled, or run in circles when we need not run at all.....

 

But once we know who we are, what is left for us is to be and to become. At the end of my life, I should have become more myself. My mission in life should spring from, be intertwined with, and confirm my identity. And if there are serious conflicts, I should raise my eyebrows.

 

 
 
Before I say anything more about mission, here is a little "year in review", especially for those who may just be joining the fun now! This is a recap of some of the basic commonalities we all share as members of the human family.....

We were all created by God, made in His image and likeness with an indelible dignity. Your true identity comes from Him, and you are unique in all of creation. You were made as a man or a woman, with great intention and with a beautiful heart, to express God's love as you express yourself through your body and your human sexuality. God loves you unconditionally, even in your imperfection and He calls you to communion with others, to experience that love and to be a gift to others as you grow together in union with Him. You are meant to live out that communion in a unique way through a particular vocation: marriage or celibate life. You are a beggar before God; that is, everything you have is a gift from him. But so as not to become attached to temporal things, you must live with your final end in mind, because you will not live forever. Your life is not meant to be lived for you alone, but for God and others, because you are not your own.

There you have it: The essence of humanity in eight sentences. :)
 
In the process, we also discussed a plethora of exciting and relevant social topics!
Evolution, Freedom, Same-sex unions, Loving yourself, Sin, Marriage, Patience in waiting, Knowing your gifts, Salvation, Suffering, Christian witness, True Love, Voluntary poverty, and Abortion.   
 
As you can clearly see, it was an eventful year! 

Read up. You have all of Advent. Then you'll have plenty to discuss with your estranged relatives when they show up on your doorstep this Christmas inquiring about the meaning of this thing we call life. (Estranged relatives tend to do that.) So don't change the subject or start up an argument. Offer them something new this year: Return to where it all began.

Question: What is the "PRO" choice?

Not too long ago, I went to a Planned Parenthood with a large group from my church, to pray for an end to abortion. As we walked back and forth along the sidewalk praying a rosary, I listened to some street preachers that were also there. They were speaking over a microphone, in the general direction of the Planned Parenthood but obviously at anyone planning to enter, reading passages from Scripture and talking about the dreadful judgment of God that would come upon these women for the terrible sin of abortion. I could no longer pray; I was too distracted. Frustrated, really. I couldn’t help but think that we were working against each other, one group quietly demonstrating peaceful protest and loving intercession, and the other preaching hellfire and brimstone.

I do recognize that there are some who would be, and are, profoundly impacted and converted by strong and alarming messages like the ones that were preached. But I also know that when people in my life have used forceful means to try to convince me to pursue a particular course of action, even when it is a good course of action, I tend not to be moved. When they love me and I am confident that I am safe and respected by them, then strong words are not even necessary, because I trust in their goodness.

Most women who come seeking an abortion do not need shock therapy. Most of them just need to be loved.

Sometimes, the woman has become pregnant after contraceptives failed. Or perhaps there are difficulties in the relationship with the man who got her pregnant: he has left her, she wants nothing to do with him, he has pressured her to get an abortion, etc. Perhaps the child was conceived in rape or incest. In all of these cases, the woman has already suffered from a tremendous lack of authentic love from someone who should have loved her most intimately. She may feel a sense of guilt, shame, self-hatred, even anger. The last thing she needs is to feel that God or others are condemning her.

Sometimes, she is considering abortion because she doesn’t think it is the right time to have a child. She may feel she is unable to support the child financially or provide a good life for it, because she is too young or unemployed or still in school or unmarried, etc. Maybe she has been told there are problems with the child’s health, or delivering the child could put her health at risk. She has enough fear already. She does not need her fears intensified. Perfect love casts out fear.

Don’t get me wrong: It is important to tell the truth, because love and truth cannot be divorced from one another. But what is the fundamental truth?

To the woman considering abortion:

God loves you, and nothing you have done or could do can change the fact that God is madly in love with you. In His love, Jesus Christ died for you, and has already paid the price for all of your sins – yes, even the abortion that you are considering. That doesn’t mean it is okay, just because it is already paid for. His gift of love and mercy are always there for the asking - He is waiting for you with open arms - but you have to accept His gift; You have to accept His love. Abortion offends His love very much, because life itself is a gift He gives in love, and He doesn’t make mistakes. He is God. Even if you have made mistakes or someone else has acted wrongly against you – even if your baby was unplanned or has health problems– God  knows what He is doing, and God knows how to bring good out of this, because He loves you and that’s what love does. If it’s not a mistake, there’s no need to “correct” it. Are you truly unable to care for the child, to provide a good life? Then give the child to me. Or place it up for adoption. Then your child will be provided for, and you will be doing the most courageous and loving thing that you can do.

To the street preachers and sidewalk counselors:
There are a number of physical and psychological side effects that women commonly experience after having an abortion. After reading these, I am even more convinced that abortion is not a "PRO" choice. Street preachers, if you want to share horror stories, true stories of such side effects is a legitimate place to start. But for the love of God, don’t do it just to invoke fear. Look at the woman, hear her, love her, and then share what she needs individually to save her from having to go through the same hell.

Some have accused pro-lifers of focusing too much on the baby and not caring enough about the mother. Sometimes I have been guilty of this myself. Let’s not be like Planned Parenthood in this regard. We are not a business, and the goal should not be to merely add one more baby to the count. The mother is equally as important. As my friend, Luz, says:

“Touch the mother’s soul, and you will save the baby’s life.”

Let us make it clear that we care about these women, and so does the God we profess. When they know they are truly loved, they will be able to truly love in return. And the choice to love authentically is the "PRO" choice.

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To any woman who has had an abortion: 

I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion. The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To the same Father and his mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child. With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life. Through your commitment to life, whether by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring for those most in need of someone to be close to them, you will become promoters of a new way of looking at human life.

-Pope John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae, #99-

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Resources:

If you are pregnant and need help, or if you are suffering from the pain of abortion (mothers and fathers), there is support for you in this difficult and painful time:

Aid To Women Center:http://aidtowomencenter.org/

Silent No More Awareness Campaign: http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/

Rachel's Vineyard Abortion Healing Retreats: http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/index.htm

Life Choices: http://www.lcwcaz.org/

1st Way Pregnany Center: http://www.1stway.net/

 

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14. You are Not Your Own

Recently, I have been reading a great book on AIDS. (Because that is what I do in my free time). The author discusses the downfalls of the prevailing approach to AIDS prevention – which is mostly the promotion of condoms, voluntary counseling and testing for other STDs – and then proceeds to show why sexual abstinence and fidelity to one’s partner are still, holistically, the best options for preventing the spread of AIDS. Why? Because they show highest regard for the dignity of man – the inherent beauty of the marital act and the marriage vows, honor for "the other", man’s ability to change behavior, and his or her real capacity to live a life of virtue.

The world would like us to believe that man isn’t much more than an animal, and all that separates us from our four-legged friends is that we invent technology which allows us to do the same things in a way that is “better” or “safer.”

For an illustration of this point, you can read this blog by Matt Walsh. In it, he responds to a letter from a concerned high school student describing a “health teacher” who labels abstinence as outdated and unrealistic. She says that since sex is often commonplace in relationships and not viewed as a serious thing – since everyone is doing it and that’s totally fine – we should at least make sure we have “safe sex.”

(Speeding on the freeway is commonplace too. But that’s fine, right? As long as everyone is wearing a seatbelt?)

“So-called ‘safe sex’, which is touted by the ‘civilization of technology’, is actually, in the view of the overall requirements of the person, radically not safe, indeed it is extremely dangerous. It endangers both the person and the family. And what is this danger? It is the loss of the truth about one’s own self and about the family, together with the risk of a loss of freedom  and consequently a loss of love itself.”
- Pope John Paul II, Letter to Families, n. 13

A loss of love itself….

Maybe, ye "teachers" and "health care" providers, the answer to our problems (not just sexual) does not involve technological band-aids for our human crises. Maybe what we need is humanity.

Our technological advances do not make us more human. The mere pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain and unwanted consequences  do not make us more human. Utilitarianism, especially when it is endorsed as an expression of enlightenment, superiority, or liberation, does not make us more human.

“Man finds himself only in the sincere gift of himself.”
 - John Paul II -

In 1963, Archbishop Fulton published a book entitled “The Priest is Not His Own.” In it, he describes the vocation of a diocesan priest and what he views as the priest’s primary call, which is to be, like Christ, a victim, willingly offering oneself for and on behalf of those he serves. A life lived for others.

In 1979, Mother Teresa, a little nun from Macedonia, won the Nobel Peace Prize for the 31 years (eventually, 49, by the time she died) she spent voluntarily living among “the poorest of the poor”, walking the streets, lifting men out of gutters, personally caring for the sick, diseased, orphaned, and abandoned. A life lived for others.

Most recently, Seth Adam Smith caused quite a stir in the blogging world for his assertion, as a married man, that “Marriage is for Not for Me.” He goes on to say that a true marriage is not about you, but about your spouse – “their wants, their needs, their hopes and their dreams.” Their soul. A life lived for another. (Needless to say, he was criticized by some readers for not caring enough about himself.)

 

"The glory of God is man fully alive."
- St. Irenaeus -

To be fully human is to be alive in authentic love, and authentic love always requires self-sacrifice and generosity.  It requires, as Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI says, to desire another’s good and to “take effective steps to secure it.” It is not words alone, but action. It does not say “What’s the least I can do?” but “What’s the best I can do?” It is not concerned with relational shortcuts and compromises and what is easiest and most comfortable for the lover, but it is willing to place one’s own desires second to the desires and/or needs of the beloved, for their good. It recognizes the dignity and worth of the other and seeks always to uphold, protect, and honor it, in thought, word, and action. In many ways, authentic love seeks to consider the other as more important than oneself. To be alive in this love is truly to be alive in God, in Christ, because truly, Jesus Christ gave us the highest example of generous and self-sacrificial love on the Cross.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit....and that you are not your own?" - 1 Cor. 6:19 -

It is difficult to truly love others if we do not have a proper love and respect for ourselves, as men and women tenderly fashioned by the hand of God. We belong to him, as a creation belongs to its creator, but also as a child belongs to its parent. We are not our own. And here's the mind-blowing part!!! God entrusts Himself to us (in the person of Christ as well as in the Holy Spirit), and gives us the responsibility to care for Him and to take the steps to keep Him alive in us and help Him grow. More often than not, God chooses to come into the world through man, especially through men and women who choose to place this Divine life within them above their own.

To love authentically is not just the call of the priest and the nun. It is for the married man. It is for the single woman. It is for any who call themselves human. Regardless of your occupation, your vocation, or your state in life, you are not your own. Your life is not meant to be lived for you alone, for maximization of personal pleasure and gain. Your human longing to love – etched on every heart – is intended to be lived out in service to God and others, in authentic, sacrificial love.  

 

I will end with this quotable quote:

“It is Jesus in fact that you seek when you dream of happiness, he is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; he is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is he who provokes you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is he who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is he who reads in your hearts your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be grounded down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal.”
(Blessed John Paul II; World Youth Day Vigil, 2000)